Friending

If anyone actually follows this blog, you might have noticed that I disappeared and have been pretty absent to the blogosphere world since moving to Atlanta. I've tried to figure out why I stopped writing when I enjoyed it so much before. I think maybe it's because I just haven't been interested in writing down my thoughts on music and haven't wanted to share it. I should be writing more, but I just haven't wanted to. It's almost as if I feel like nobody would even read it and maybe it makes me feel more alone than I already do. I can't tell you how many people have told me that I should join a church or some other sort of social group, but I think when you move to a city and want to meet people, you have to do it your way otherwise you're not being yourself. And for me, going to see bands is my "social group". Even if some times I don't strike up conversations with people, it's ok. At the end of it, at least I know I'm doing this my way. With all that said, I've actually been having fun and have seen some really great bands... some have been great, and some have sucked. But the good ones... the good ones are well worth the awkwardness of standing in a crowded room alone, staring enviously at people there with friends. Every time I go to a show, I get stronger and feel better about my situation. I'm not sure if any of this even makes sense, but I feel like each time I go to a show alone I'm crossing over 1 more hurdle to self acceptance and each show I go to, I seem to focus more on the music and less on feeling sad for the fact that I'm there alone. I have seen more concerts since I've moved to ATL than I did in the first 4 months of 2011 while living in Austin. I thought going to shows along would be my guaranteed way to meet people, but how is that possible when I won't even talk to anyone? I mean, I do talk to people, I'm just a little hesitant to. In any case, I think I've snapped out of this fog I've been in and hope to start up blogging again, and more importantly "friending" again. So there is that... it's been a strange and difficult transition for me, but I have learned way more about myself than I thought I would. And somehow writing all of this down is helping me make more sense of it all. I'm constantly battling with my self confidence each time I step out of my apartment, but it's getting better every day and I think things can only get better from here. So my friends, this is where I am in life and on that note I'm going to end this overthought blog with a song from a band I'm going to see tomorrow night, Gold Leaves: